I currently live with my boyfriend, David, who has been borderline emotionally abusive for the past two years. In the beginning, he cheated on me with multiple women and sent private photos of me to several of his friends, bragging about his sexual prowess
and ability to land a woman who was 7 years younger. When I found out and confronted him, he proposed and said that "that world isn't real", and I should "look at the nice things he does for me in our actual life." He eventually apologized and promised to
change, and I did not accept his proposal but kept the ring. For the past two years, we have lived together, and our daily life is miserable for me. He often picks fights with me about things I feel are ridiculous - for example, he argues with me about how
my chattiness is "look-at-me, attention seeking behavior", he disapproves of any male friends I have because they "only want sex" from me, he snaps at me about driving directions, and often cites his age and having gone to college for engineering as why he
"knows more about the world" than I do. He will also tell me that my small 5'7, 120-pound frame would be "more model-esque" if I weighed closer to 100 pounds. He brags about old sexual conquests to his male friends, speaks horribly of his decently nice parents,
saying they're "f*cking a**holes" who won't leave him alone, and indicates by his argumentative behavior that he has to be right about everything. Because of all of this unhappiness, I have found myself less and less sexually attracted to him. Our sex life
has always been good until I just hit a wall and felt like I couldn't do it anymore because I'm not in love with him. I have made many, many changes to myself that he requested (often to placate him), reflected upon how I can become better, and gone above
and beyond to improve this relationship, but feel as though he has done next to nothing. He continually states that he needs more sex in order to be happy, and on many occasions, I have accommodated him, hoping he would change. He may be nicer for a day or
two, but beyond that, I see no changes. Having sex with him now just makes me feel used, creeped out, or some combination of the two, because I feel like he is only nice to me to get what he wants. It feels borderline sociopathic sometimes. On nights we don't
have sex, he will insist upon staying up and arguing for long periods of time about why it's not happening. I know and have known for awhile that I desperately need to move on. Being with David has made me deeply unhappy, prone to depression, unable to sleep
well, and generally less able to cope with life events I would normally bounce back from without a problem. I am a resilient, intelligent, and happy-go-lucky person, but spending so much time around someone who makes me feel so low has caused me to be living
in a miserable existence for almost the entire time we have spent together. My problem with leaving arises because I am a full-time student with no job, and our arrangement is that he fully supports the both of us on his $60,000 salary. It has been this way
since January, and now we have recently moved to Arizona from Texas, and I am in a place with no friends or contacts, while he has numerous connections here from his 4 years in college. I need help creating a plan to get out, and ideally, it will move quickly.
I have made many excuses over the years not to leave him - even when things got really bad - because of finances. I thought, I will wait until I get my Bachelor's degree, I will wait until my current lease expires, etc. I am hoping to get help creating a solid,
reasonable break up and move out plan that will get me out of my current situation as fast as possible. I have no job leads, no savings, and no contacts. I also cannot afford to move back to Texas, even if one of my relatives agreed to let me stay with them.
I don't feel I'm in danger of any physical abuse, and I cannot afford to see a therapist locally due to lack of insurance.