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Relationship

Stagnant relationship; he wants us to...

Resolved • Response time 21 minutes

11 Jun 2013

Stagnant relationship; he wants us to breakup, but she wants us to work on it. Please what is the best resolution or best approach?
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11 Jun 2013

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Counselor's response
11 Jun 2013
Adjunct Professor
Dear friend, I believe that I can help. It takes two to make a relationship work. It is like a ping-pong match. One person cannot play alone. If this is still in the discussion stage, then all is not lost. If he has already walked out the door and is not returning calls or has left town, then this is a different situation. I assume that you are still talking, and I also assume that you are the woman in the relationship, because he would not be likely to be posing this question. If you are still talking then perhaps you can suggest a weekend getaway for both of you, for starters: some place in a different environment with a break from the workaday and possibly stressful world in which you are currently spending your existence. This will give you the opportunity to face each other in a more favorable environment. I do not know how adamant he is about this. If he still has some doubts you can talk to him about seeing a relationship therapist in order to improve your mutual communication. You characterized the relationship as stagnant - not growing. I do not know the details of your relationship but I can recommend an excellent book which is available in book form, which means you could be reading on your computer (or Kindle device, though you don't need one) in just a few minutes: I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship by Andrew G. Marshall http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-but-Not-Relationship/dp/0757305482/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370983726&sr=8-1&keywords=saving+a+relationship As long as you are talking, there is hope. The book I recommended is filled with many ideas and strategies and you will find some to fit your own unique circumstances. I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers. Warm regards, Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
11 Jun 2013
Customer reply
11 Jun 2013
Thanks for the response. It's very precise and accurate. We've agreed to speak with a counselor to see what becomes of it. Do you take appointments? I would like to ask that my information is not published.
11 Jun 2013
Counselor's response
11 Jun 2013
Adjunct Professor
Dear friend, The best way to get me is to request me by7 name in mental health or relationships. Eliott, LPCC, NCC Your name is XXX XXXXXXXXX anywhere in the text. I can not even know your name. If you wish me to have this conversation hidden I shall do so after the rating process is complete. I will very happy to help you in any way possible. Warm regards, Elliott
11 Jun 2013
Customer reply
12 Jun 2013
I'm sorry, I meant can we meet you in person?
12 Jun 2013
Counselor's response
12 Jun 2013
Dear friend, I would love to be able to work with both of you in person, but by my contractual arrangement with JustAnswer, I am not allowed to give contact information to JustAnswer clients. If the client sends me an email address or other contact information, the computer will change the address to XXXXX@XXXXX.XXX. I am a working therapist and do have a private practice, but, as much as I would love to accommodate you, I am afraid that I cannot. Warm regards, Elliott
Adjunct Professor
Avg. question only $24
12 Jun 2013
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